Broadly speaking, women are more empathetic and better at catching innuendos and hints than men are. So if a woman says to another woman, “Oh, don’t worry about me, I will be fine,” with a bit of a sad look or a sigh, she is giving the other woman a graceful out but they both know she really does want company or help and if the other woman really cares, she will stay. But if she says that to a man, he thinks “Cool, I can go back to watching the game,” and he does so without a second thought, genuinely not realizing the unspoken plea, then is flabbergasted when he later gets the cold shoulder.
So men get annoyed at women for being frustratingly indirect, while women get upset with men for being insensitive, and both are right, from their perspective. I read Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus many years ago, which helped a lot in my relationships with men. Most recently I watched Mark Gungor’s “Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage” DVD, which also was very good.
I credit my marriage lasting almost twenty years in part to my learning to be way more direct with my husband than I feel comfortable with, and with his trying to be more sensitive to my unspoken cues.
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